March 2011
1 post
Failure, failure
Everything I touch turns to dust.
October 2010
2 posts
Newtonian Mechanics as applied to mental states
It happens. The happier I am one month, the more depressed I am the next. There’s a great emotional pendulum somewhere in my brain that records exactly the amount of re-verb to apply, and before I know it I’m a salty-faced mess.
“Why don’t you look happy?”
“Believe me, it’ll bite me in the @$$ come tomorrow.”
September 2010
1 post
The eye of the storm
In the midst of it, I’ve found peace. Why do I need you, feet, when I have wings to soar?
May 2010
3 posts
Dr. Lumsdaine
“The latest trend in higher education is blogging and journalism. It might be the stupidest thing of our age, encouraging you to ramble ooonn and ooonn and write about nothing but the way you feel, and it eventually influences your academic papers until they don’t have any logical substance either, and the problem with that is that I have to grade them, which means I have to read...
“And he who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces; but on whomever it falls, it will scatter him like dust.”
So that’s how it feels.
I love the way you heal me
Question 1
“And how are you today, Carissa?”
Please choose one of the answer options below:
A) “Fine, and you?”
B) “Great, thanks for asking!”
C) “My heart is breaking, I can’t sleep, and my body is on strike. I looked in the mirror today and didn’t recognize myself. I’m falling apart. Really.”
D) “I’m living in...
April 2010
2 posts
I'm tearing out the pages of my heart
If our lives are stories and each year is a chapter, every season a volume, I’d like to burn this book.
My blood vessels are bursting in my eyes, I can’t sleep, and I’m losing weight. My body is falling apart, my mind is broken, and my soul is too tired to do anything about it. Father, where are you?
And yet again, I've allowed my ambition to exceed...
Oh my mind is whirring, miles an hour, miles too fast. The faster my tires spin, the more I dig myself into this ethereal hole, the less coherent I am to others, the less controlled I am to myself. All I can express is symbolized in the dust and bits of gravel spat up by the futile spinning. As clearly as I understand my own thinking, as effortlessly and perfectly as I see the turning of my...
March 2010
2 posts
Yearning
I can draw, but I haven’t played the piano in 2 months, and it makes me feel sick. Actually, being sick makes me feel sick. But I miss my family and I miss my friend, and my heart is breaking and God where are you in all of this, because I can’t relate and everything is closing in on me, and I’m not ready to cry.
Today Naama asked for me to answer some questions for a freshman...
January 2010
1 post
I think the idea of it was more attractive than...
because now that I’m actually heading for Massachusetts I’ve found that I’m not yet ready to leave California.
August 2009
1 post
I feel like I wrote more fluidly when I was...
I’ve never liked sunrises. They’ve always represented a noisome parade of frustration, of all the toils of the day. I’ve never particularly enjoyed the colour of them either; orange is such a boisterous, annoying shade; its arrogance drowning the quiet, peaceful tones of violets out of sight. Sunrises, moreover, have always been the first sight of inevitable heat; an offensive...